Love yourself vs Change yourself?

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This friend of mine is a socially awkward guy. He never feels like talking to a person in the first place, and when he does, he feels uneasy.

He doesn’t feel like participating in a group conversation just bc he thinks that people will judge him.

Guess what? he’s not the only. one.

The thing with these people is that some of them think that is a bad habit.


Now, on one hand, we have the good old “love yourself” theory which says that we should love ourselves just the way we are and shouldn’t try to be someone else or to be someone who isn’t the true “me”.

Then there’s the theory of “change yourself” which says that minor or major changes to your lifestyle will bring confidence and happiness. Like joining a gym to look fit so that you can get into the “socially accepted people” category and things will be easier for you.

But then if your friend comes to you for advice and asks you what should he/she do about a social anxiety, what will you say?
will you say that they should remain the way they are or should you say that they should change themselves?
in both methods, there is a chance of winning.
but which method is the best one?


According to adjustment psychology, our traits such as introversion, extraversion, etc remain STABLE over the years. They don’t change.

That’s because we ourselves choose environments which sustain the person we are.

If I am an introvert, I will always be attracted towards jobs which suit my taits like writing, painting, etc. (Guess what? Many introverts are said to have good skill set related to the jobs which are “introvert-friendly” like again, painting, writing etc.) 

Nature itself supports our traits and we also do it.

Which means that you actually cant completely change who you are. Does it cancel the option of “change yourself”? No.

You do need to change yourself because the environment is not stable. It’s us who adjust ourselves to it to make our life stable and less worrisome.


SO, you might consider changing some aspects of your lifestyle which aren’t healthy.

For example, can you tell me whats wrong in joining the gym? Nothing is.
You will be fit. That’s good for you. That will change your body, your mind, and your appearance but if you love yourself, you will be happy with the change cause its a good change!

SO, we can benefit at a 100% rate if we do both the things of loving yourself and changing yourself.

But the first thing you need to do is to know who you are. Are you an introvert? Are you socially awkward? what is it that you really are.

After that, accept the reality. Start to love the reality.

Love yourself so that you can be confident enough to make a decision to bring a change if the change is good for you.

Loving yourself will eventually lead you to change yourself.

“Joining the gym is good for me, for my body and for keeping diseases away. Yes, it will change the way I look, talk, etc but I think I will be able to cope with the change if I give myself some time”.


Hey, guys hope you liked the post. It’s just my opinion. If you have a different opinion, you can put it in the comment section below.

Wanna read more?

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  2. Equality is powerful…
  3. The Ultimate Social media management method…
  4. Aryuvedic hacks to live a drug-free life.

 

Take a BREAK…

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Ever wondered how fast-paced life can be? Today you are running late for work.. you rush yourself, work your ass off, get your food, go back home, sleep and its another day of struggle again.

We all grow up so fast that we forget to think about ourselves and about the inner “me”

That’s why, it is sometimes important to take a break from your heavy schedule, take some rest and let your mind relax.

Go for a walk, sip some tea, watch some Netflix or just SLEEP.

Don’t let your brain get rot by all the pressure.. just relax and enjoy a day off from work or school.

 


Sometimes, taking a break is necessary.


 

put in some bath bombs and relax in the tub

 

Or maybe just spend some time with the kitty and lie on the bed

 

(image credit: click image)


But again, being the worrisome person that I am, I do have to tell you that please go to work if its important XD

If it’s not, and you can work later, or you have already done your work, please take a day off for yourself if you can.

And while you are doing this, Please focus on doing the right things like taking care of yourself and giving yourself some importance. Do whatever makes you feel good.


Ok, let’s take a leave now.

Goodbye.

Wait, wanna read some more?

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  3. Fandom : Its a trap

 

A layman’s guide to dreams

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The Wikipedia’s “simple” definition of dreams is that :

dream is a succession of imagesideasemotions, and sensations that usually occur involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep

Today we will explain about dreams in a simple and easy-to-understand manner so that you don’t have to scratch your head while understanding it.

So let’s begin!

How dreams work, is not fully understood but different fields have made different interpretations of what dreams could mean.

These fields include science (obviously huh), philosophy, and religion (never fails to be in the race!).

The scientific study of dreams is called oneirology.

As said in the definition, dreams occur during CERTAIN STAGES of sleep
So what stages are we talking about?

The first stage is the REM (RAPID EYE MOMENT).

Now, don’t worry it just means what it says – the time of the sleeping period during which BRIAN ACTIVITY IS HIGH and resembles the stage of being awake. EYE MOMENT occurs.

So dreams occur during REM.
They also occur in later stages of the sleep but at that time, our brain is not processing (working) on anything (basically it is sleeping).

Which is why it doesn’t make an effort to “store” things. Which is why we cant remember our dreams if they occur in this stage.

The factual stuff now,

  • Dreams last for: few seconds/ 20-30 mins
  • The average person has three to five dreams per night, and some may have up to seven
  • however, most dreams are immediately or quickly forgotten
  • Dreams tend to last longer as the night progresses.
  • During a full eight-hour night sleep, most dreams occur in the typical two hours of REM.

Now, let’s go to what our favorite subject psychology says,

Most psychologists and researches believe in the Freudian theory of dreams (if you don’t know him, I don’t know what to say to you)

Anyways, Freudian theory on dreams say that :
that dreams reveal insight into hidden desires and emotions.

Other nameless people have also done research on dreams and they say that

  • dreams assist in memory formation
  • problem-solving
  • or simply are a product of random brain activation

Bleacher proposed that dreams show how the mind engages in thought when not required to produce communicable versions of thought.

History of dreams is that the earliest recorded dreams were found as clay art evidence and in ancient scriptures as old as 5000 years!


There are also many other theories which tell us much more about dreams.  If you like this article, we will be more than happy to extend it and give you more information about dreams and explain it in a simpler way like this.

So if you like this article, hit that like button and share this with your friends.

Wanna read more?

  1. 9 reasons why Harry Styles is the next big thing
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  3. Equality is powerful…

 

 

Without seeing the video, know whether its worth watching or not (4 simple hacks)

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When we are stuck with some technical stuff, we go to google or youtube to solve our problems. But many times the technical stuff on youtube might NOT work in reality. But can we know BEFOREHAND whether the video is accurate or not? HELL YES.

Here are some very simple tricks which you can apply to know whether ANY youtube video is worth watching or not :

1. See the comments first :

  • Everyone knows this trick so there’s not much explanation about it.
  • But some big companies FILTER the comment section and you see only good comments.
  • So if you want the real opinion, you should select “Newest first” option in the comment section instead of the “top comments” option.
  • You will have the honest opinions quickly and you can judge for yourself whether you wanna watch the video or not.

 

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latest comments on a video on “how to have free internet”

 

 

2. See the like-dislike ratio :

  • This is also a kind of well-known thing to do but there’s also a trick in this to get a perfect idea.
  • Let’s say the likes are 6k then half is 3k. If there are more than half dislikes, (3.5k,4k) then the video is really bad.
  • Another trick is that if the dislikes are REALLY LOW like, 6k likes and 200 dislikes, (which is not even close to 1k) then its a MUST WATCH video.
  • You can also not use any tricks and still can see the like-dislike thingy easily. You just have to go with basic instincts.

 

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something like this is what I’m talking about. The dislikes are way too high. So probably I shouldn’t watch this. (No offence to Miley though)

 

 

3. Rating :

  • There is an audience rating for every video.
  • You have to click on “filter” and then in the very left column, go to “short by” and then click on “rating”
  • You will get the best-rated video related to your search.
  • You can fairly trust the video .
  • But the page will have some videos with low views first bc the rating is according to the number of dislikes.
  • So you have to browse a little and find a verified channel or a video having rather a good amount of views like 100k+ views.

 

 

4. Top channels :

  • Go to google and type “top DIY channels” / “top mobile review channels” etc.
  • See the list.
  • Go to youtube and watch right away.
  • Bc, not all verified channels are good.
  • So this is the best way to be sure that you are getting the best stuff without wasting time on youtube.

 

 

 


So that’s it for today guys

Comment down below if you have more tricks.

Like, and share this post too.

 

Craving for more?

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  4. Types of people you should NEVER befriend.
  5. How to understand women..

 

9 reasons why Harry Styles is the next big thing..

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AAAAAH!! screams the crowd as soon as he enters. Girls go CRAZY for him. His album is no1 in 84 countries and he’s on the top charts in major award ceremonies.

Harry styles ladies and gentlemen, is the NEXT BIG THING.

Why you ask?

1. He sings REALLY well :

Its no doubt that the singer can hit high notes really easily and his voice sounds the same even when he’s not in the studio. In One Direction, he used to have the top singing time being allotted along with Liam and Zayn. Even in his very first famous song, What makes you beautiful, he had a major solo. No doubt that boy can sing well.

This video below is one of his best live performances. You NEED TO check it out.

2. He’s a gentleman :

He’s a GENTLEMAN. A total gentleman. There have been many instances where fans just jumped on him, threw things at him, hit him, and hurt him but STILL, he never got angry.  He smiles it off. Those dimples are enough to stop a war.

Not just that, he has been always kind to everyone. Talks nicely, speak softly and makes sure his fans are safe when in the crowd.

You know, people always say that girls like mean guys. But harry styles is NOT a mean guy. He’s actually a gentleman. And he has ALWAYS been like that even before getting famous. This guy is proving the stereotype about girls wrong! girls DO like nice guys.

Image result for harry styles helping

harry helping a fan who fainted

3. He’s breathtakingly handsome :

That guy, ugh, he takes it all. His face is perfect and paired with the dimples, he becomes the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. He has been listed as one of the most handsome men in the world many times by Forbes. He is damn tall too.  He is the man of your dreams!

4. His fashion sense is bold and beautiful :

Sometimes quirky fashion sense can go wrong. But NOT with Harry. Trust me, you cannot find even two pictures where he is badly dressed. Even for his x-factor audition, he rocked it among other band members with his fashion sense.

The recent fashion style he uses is custom made suits. His suits are oddly beautiful. Harry looks good in casual as well as non-casual clothes. Even if he wears a simple t-shirt, he will look good in that.

All this just tells that he is the perfect model.

5. Acting? Hell yeah :

Multi-talented guy Harry styles recently did a film called Dunkirk in which his performance was liked by many critics. So here we go, a singer, an actor, a fashion diva,.. and what not! He’s brilliant.

A video of Harry Styles from Dunkirk :

6. Crazy fan following :

Fans DO matter a lot. They can vote for you, buy your albums, go to your concerts, watch your videos, subscribe to your channel, make your name be spread to the world and can make your life.

One direction, since its formation, has gained a massive fan following. Their fans have also won awards for being “best fans”. (yes that’s true).

Harry always had the spotlight to him even back then in one direction. He was never among the isolated ones. No one could ignore that guy back then. And even now, he can’t be ignored. His fans love him a lot and they will make sure he is on the top charts every year and wins tons of awards. So be ready to hear his name from your girlfriends, sisters or whatever.

7. He is selfless :

Aside from being kind, he’s completely selfless. Even in his concerts, he makes sure he sings at least one song from One direction because its only because of one direction that he could achieve so much success.

He once filled in for James Corden and took over the show for him when his wife was having labor and he had to leave. Harry, of course, stole the show and saved the day.

He had even donated his hair to charity, made various contributions to charity organizations all over the world, he waves the LGBTQ flag at the end of his concerts to spread awareness about LGBTQ. He has contributed a lot to charity and good causes.

Unlike other stars, he never smokes cigars, gets arrested or involves in drugs. (yet)

Information about his charity  :

  1. https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/harry-styles-cut-hair-charity-7913747
  2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Styles#Philanthropy

8. Bits of fun :

Ever went to a One Direction concert? If you did then you will know that it was NEVER boring. There was ample entertainment along with singing. The main entertainers were Louis, Harry, and Niall who used to make you laugh the most.

There are some bits which harry keeps intact from his One Direction experience. These bits are repeated every time and it cheers up the crowd and makes them scream more and more.

It is important because it makes the concert more fun and keeps the energy intact.

Our favorite is when he spits water like a fountain.

Image result for harry water spitting gif

The thing is that planning such small things for the crowd is really thoughtful and it says a lot about how much he (as well as OneD) care for their fans.

Other than that, he also makes a lot of jokes and interacts a lot with his audience ALWAYS. Which is SO NICE!  You will never get bored in his concert. NEVER.

9. Lastly, his songs are amazing :

How can we not address the elephant in the room? His album! He has completed one year of his self-titled album and EACH song in the album is different, melodious and meaningful.

He has really put a lot of effort in the writing and music style. The style is also very different from the usual one direction thingy. You don’t have to be a fan to like his songs. You can listen to it casually and will still love it.

It feels wonderful to listen to his album you must really listen to it if you haven’t.

Among all the songs, Sign of the times is literally the best song ever!    #tworeferencesinone

Buy it on Amazon –https://www.amazon.com/Harry-Styles/dp/B071R5XZWX 

Who knows! he can beat Justin Bieber to become the biggest male superstar ever! 


Craving for more?

  1. Westworld in real life?
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  3. Types of people you should NEVER befriend.
  4. We live in a false world!
  5. Modern day gift ideas for your loved one

Westworld in real life?

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Westworld has told us a lot of truths about our own society. It has shown us what we could become if we get full control, full freedom. But there’s more lessons to learn from it…

For those who dont know what I’m talking about, here’s the Wikipedia description of westworld –

In a futuristic Western-themed amusement park, West world, the visitors interact with automatons. However, all hell breaks loose when the automatons begin malfunctioning.

So basically it involves hosts who want to walk out of the park. They try their best to do so.

Five minutes into the episode 1, there is a gun showdown. It not just stops there. It keeps on happening the whole time anybody is in the park. Not just gun violence, there is also a lot of sex. While this may amuse some people but it is very disturbing…

In one of the episodes, the maker of the park, says that he made this park for people to enjoy what they dont get in the real world – freedom. Freedom from society, from people, from surveillance, and from ANY rules.

But, its the robots who suffer due to the guests. This may revel a bigger picture about us as a human society too…

I know its just a TV show. But if you really see it, you will realise that it is POSSIBLE that we also live in a westworld park.

We all crave for freedom. Especially us in the democratic countries, think that we dont have enough freedom. But if we get total freedom, this is what is gonna happen. The same thing which happens in the park – killing and fucking. We will keep on killing and fucking people if we get TOTAL freedom.

Apart from that, the show also shows the dangerous side of developing robots. You see, in the show, they make robots (hosts) who have emotions and cognition. Meaning, they can think and feel. They are almost like humans but made of steel, iron and stuff like that.

In the first season, the robots always live in their own little loops created for them. They follow the same story-line. Surprisingly, we humans also do the same thing. The same monotonous life – brushing, bathing, eating, all in some order which suits us…

But the loops on the robots are written by someone else. The main character Dolores, finds out about the evilness of the park along with Maeve and they rebel against the park authorities gathering all the hosts to join them in the rebellion. Now, Isn’t this somewhat similar to our societies rebelling against the government? See, our loops are also kind of related to our lifestyle. A person from UK might live his loop inside a big house but at the same time, a person from  a poorer country might be living it inside a hut. But both of them might have their own grievances with their governments. So..it RELATES!

In the park, the hosts are kept in control by a computer device. The device is used by the officers to control the hosts’ emotions, cognition, memory etc. Now, how does this relate to real life? It does. In Asia, we live in a communal society. Our decisions affect the image of our family and friends. If I kill someone, my parents will also be blamed along with me. So in such a communal society, there are unwritten rules for us. The men usually are not supposed to show emotions. So, its like the computer is the society controlling us, our emotions, our cognition and our decisions! but indirectly. But it dosent matter because the effect in both the cases is the same – YOU CAN BE CONTROLLED.

You see, what I’m trying to say here, is very simple – maybe we are also HOSTS in real life. Not like literally, but in an indirect way. We are controlled by the society, the government is responsible for our loops, and we live in a free society (like the hosts live in the freedom park) but there is no true freedom for US. Maybe for the guests (like if I invite someone from north Korea to my country) but not for us…

Also, total freedom will only harm us and make us no less than the wild animals who also keep doing the same thing all the time – killing and fucking…

Of course, the TV show is more fast, violent, uncontrollable than our real lives. And its FAKE. I know that. But isn’t it a good perspective to consider? We as hosts in a park called “earth”/ <name of our country>  ?

So that’s it guys. I tried something new this time. Hope you liked it. If you did, please hit the like button and share it with your friends.Note – this is not a review of the series. Its just a comparison of it with real life.

Lastly, I would like you to see the trailer of Westworld to understand it better if you haven’t watched it yet. 


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Featured image credit

When in stress..

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There are many days where we just lose against stress. So next time when in stress, do these things…:

When in stress, remember that IT WILL PASS!!

Yes, there is some financial difficulty at the moment. But that happens to everyone! You have had your bad days and they have passed too. Then why won’t this pass? Yes, it will take time. But that doesn’t mean it won’t end. You will eventually find some work and will earn money.

 

When in stress, remember that BE FIT…

You’re having an exam. You need ENERGY! I know sometimes we are so stressed that we don’t even wanna eat or drink anything. But at least you can drink water right? Also, make a lemonade and put it in the water bottle you’re gonna carry. It gives you energy. Without energy, you’re gonna fail for sure.

 

When in stress, remember that, YOU HAVE TO LEARN FROM OTHERS…

There are diabetic people, handicapped people, heart patients, roaming around you. You don’t even know that the person sitting next to you in the metro has a kidney problem. That’s because they still come to work. They don’t let their suffering dampen their daily life. Even then, they still smile. Learn from others and complete your responsibility even when in stress.

 

When in stress, remember that DONT GIVE UP…

Today there was a meeting in my office. I had severe back pain but still, I gave the presentation anyhow. People could sense my pain but still, they kept quiet because I signaled them with my work that “I’m gonna finish what I worked for”.

Two nights, 14 cups of tea, so much electricity, so much paper, so much food, and so much brainwork has been put into this project by me. How can I give that up and let my pain win over my hard work?

 

When in stress remember that DONT STRESS..

Drowning? Don’t stress. Call for help, swim, start flapping your feet, rise up somehow. (ofc doesn’t apply to extreme drowning cases like in an ocean)

You had put in so many years in school and college. You have gained so much knowledge. Are you gonna let that stress make your brain freeze and let you not retrace the things you learned? NEVER. Don’t panic and don’t let stress win. Relax and think. We have all the solution to our problems. We just need to open the door to the presence of mind.

 

 

When in stress, remember that YOU HAVE TO START AGAIN..

Ok, you failed. Ok. What next? Gonna cry all day or gonna give the test again? Yes, definitely your friends will tease you for failing or might even leave you. But then you yourself will realize that they weren’t actually your friends. True friends help when needed.

So get up, wipe your tears, and start studying harder. Skip parties for some days and throw the biggest party ever when you will pass. Patience my boy, patience.

 

 


 

 

Simple things which can bring instant happiness..

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The world is chaotic.  Every second, there are problems.  But we ourselves have the solution to these problems.  These are small solutions to big problems.  Sometimes, they are small precautions to avoid big diseases!  If we start to value these things, our life will become beautiful.

Below are simple things which can make you happy instantly.

  1.  Smiling :
  • Smiling is a signaling system that evolved from a need to communicate information of many different forms.
  • You never know who had one of the worst days of their lives, Your smile even to a stranger may bring some hope. So Give one and maybe you get one
  • Psychology says that smiling enhances your mood and brings positivity. Smile daily and you will be happy. 🙂

 

 

adolescent, adult, beautiful

 

2. Phone call :

  • For at least one day, stop texting and start calling!
  • Call your mom, not for asking about groceries, but for asking her how her day was.
  • Call your dad and ask him how his day was.
  • Call your siblings and ask them how they are doing in life.
  • Most important – CALL THAT OLD FRIEND.  Just call.  Don’t think twice.  Call him/her and say that you miss him/her.  They will say the same.  Then you go on with the old memories of your school, college and you will never know when they will quickly ask you to meet!  A single phone call may make your plan for the day.

Text can never portray emotions.  The sound of your loved one will.

 

Woman In White Blazer Holding Tablet Computer

3. Hugging :

Ik in the west, it is normal to hug.  But in Asia, it is not that common.  Hugging, kissing, makes other people awkward around you if you are in Asia.  Of course not in every Asian country, but in MOST Asian countries, PDA is not common.  No worries! Home is always there.

  • Hug your mom and dad without telling them. Without saying anything.  They will be surprised, but then emotional.
  • Most of us don’t know how much our parents sacrifice for us.  They don’t even tell us their problems.  A small hug could bring a change.
  • A tiny little kiss on the cheek is also so effective.
  • It may seem awkward to you at first, but then if you know the outcome is positive, why hesitate? And hugging your life partner is always so beautiful!
  • You can also hug your pet!

Psychological reason to hug:

  • Hugging has been proven to have health benefits.
  • One study has shown that hugs increase levels of oxytocin and reduce blood pressure.
  • Based on significant research indicating that a 20-second-or-longer hug releases oxytocin, Leo Buscaglia encourages people to hug for 21 days consecutively and to have each day a hug that lasts for a minimum of 21 seconds.
  • He recommends “getting lost in the hug”, encouraging people to slow down and “use the power of the hug to be fully present at the moment”.

 

 

Man and Woman Hugging on Brown Field

 

4. Listening to music :

Everybody knows that music is a healer.  It has always been used to portray emotions.  It is useful in many ways.  It can instantly boost your mood!

How Music is used in Psychology for healing purposes :

  • Music therapy is an interpersonal process in which a trained therapist uses music and all of its facets—physical, emotional, mental, social, aesthetic, and spiritual—to help clients to improve or maintain their health.
  •  In some instances, the client’s needs are addressed directly through music; in others, they are addressed through the relationships that develop between the client and therapist.
  • Music therapy is used with individuals of all ages and with a variety of conditions, including psychiatric disorders, medical problems, physical disabilities, sensory impairments, developmental disabilities, substance abuse issues, communication disorders, interpersonal problems, and aging.
  • It is also used to improve learning, build self-esteem, reduce stress, support physical exercise, and facilitate a host of other health-related activities.
  • Music therapists may encourage clients to sing, play instruments, create songs, or do other musical activities.

So, What are you waiting for?  Go and plug in your earphones and listen to music.  If it can heal mentally affected people, then why not you?

 

Photography of Woman Listening to Music

 

 

5. Food!

  • You don’t even need an explanation for this!
  • There are many children who don’t even EVEN ONE meal a day.  You are lucky to have food around you.
  • Don’t ever remove your anger on food.  If your sad, or unhappy, don’t skip lunch or dinner.  Okay, eat less for that day but don’t go hungry to bed.
  • Cooking food with your own hands is an amazing experience.  Once in a while, cook food yourself.  If you always cook food yourself, take a break and go out to eat.
  • And yes, its okay to cheat for one day. You are doing this for nobody else but yourself.  Just don’t overeat 😛

Indian food : A paradise for vegans and vegetarians? Know how and what to eat..

Green Salad on White Plate Near Grilled Potatoes on Brown Table

 

 

6. Naps :

  • Too stressed about tomorrow’s speech?  nervous?  Have prepared everything but still, there is a fear?  Do one thing – TAKE A NAP.
  •  Napping is when you sleep for only a few hours.  It refreshes you after you wake up.
  • Studies have shown that if you break up your day with a nap, you will be as alert and energetic for the second part of your day as you were for the first.
  • So if you’ve got an event planned for after work, take a nap before going out on the town.(source)

High Angle View of Lying Down on Grass

 

 

Note: We are not claiming these to be 100% true.  But these things many times, do make us feel good instantly.  Ps. this list is for healthily minded individuals for dealing with daily stressors.  It might NOT be effective if you have depression, anxiety etc.  Seek doctors help if you have a long-term stressor disturbing your life.

 

Top blogs this week :

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Like and share this blog if you agree with us!

Also, comment down below your personal favorite one from the list.

Good day!

 

Women’s day special : How India can learn from India..

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India is the place of extremes. Go two kilometers away from your place, and you will see a change in culture and lifestyle.

But is this diverse culture helping us or harming us? Surely HELPING US. Many Indians don’t even know about India as a country. They know that India is diverse but don’t know HOW and in WHAT WAYS is it diverse…

Here we are going to address how Indian cultures can learn from each other and make India better. Here we are particularly discussing women in different Indian cultures.

First, let’s start with the issues women face particularity in northern India :

  • India has seen a lot of horrible rape cases over the years.
  • The govt is very slow in giving justice.
  • Delhi is ranked really very low on safety for women as well as men. Its a shame for Delhi being a capital.
  • Although women’s safety depends upon region to region and culture to culture, there is a widespread patriarchy like any other Asian culture.
  • Women have “specific jobs” like teaching, NGO, IT, engineering, medical, etc. Only lower caste women are seen doing jobs which are mostly for men in other countries – like construction jobs. If you travel by a local train in Mumbai on Sundays, you will see women repairing railway tracks. Good. But let’s face it – they are doing it because they have to support their family. and not because they wanna do this job on their own…

Of course, no one wants to be a construction worker be it a man or a woman and they do this job for family only. But men at least come to sign up on their own. Women are very much dragged into this for extra help not for “equality” as such…

  • With this we have another point – the women of minority entities, religions and caste in India, are seen doing more participation just like minorities in other countries. But again, it’s not because “I wanna do this. I love this job!”. Its because “I have to do this. I have to support my husband in earning money. This is the only option for me”
  • The most important problem- education and female foeticide. Female foeticide is reduced in India but now abandoning a female child is increasing. Especially, in those places which are very unsafe for women (so they cant even be used for construction jobs). The literacy rate of women is better but still lower than men.

Is there no solution to this? There is. And, guess who has the solution- India itself.

Now let’s see the other extreme :

1. Meghalaya :

The traditional matrilineal system of the Khasi tribe has empowered women in other spheres. In Meghalaya (and in fact much of the north-east), there is :

  • No purdah system imposed on women.
  • There is no restriction on women’s physical movement, nor their attire.
  • There is no bride burning, female infanticide or foeticide and no dowry (there are instead cases of a bride’s price)
  • And there is no social stigma attached to a widow re-marrying.

Image result for meghalaya women

 

2. Kerela :

When it comes to matriarchy, it is clear that there never was any matriarchy in Kerala. However, women in Kerala seem to be more politically empowered than their sisters in Meghalaya. An article in The Hindu says that a large number of women from Kerala participated in the freedom movement. This tradition has stood them in good stead today and there are not surprisingly, 7 women in the Kerala Legislative assembly.

There are other states which are doing well in terms of women’s participation in politics and in other spheres but if one takes into account the status of women in the family and the sex ratio then certainly both Kerala and Meghalaya stand out as shining examples to the rest of India.

Image result for kerala women

3. THE GARO TRIBE:

Neighbors to Khasi, this tribe has a similar social formation and also follows the matrilineal methodology to trace property. A Garo family is headed by the mother of the house but the father is responsible for providing sustenance. The tribe is divided into sub-tribes and clans, with marriage outside the tribe highly discouraged.

The daughter of the family carries the clan name throughout her life, whereas the son takes up his wife’s clan name after marriage. If the marriage doesn’t work out, the couple can get separated without any social stigma. Similar to the Khasi tradition, the youngest daughter in a Garo family will inherit the property and if there is no female inheritor within the immediate family, the property passes to the daughter of the mother’s sister.

Competition promotes tribal culture, tradition

As explained earlier, in this post,

The reason why these places have women empowerment are :

  • These cultures support education for all.
  • Women stand for themselves.
  • Women raise a voice against the injustice done to them.
  • Men support women in their fight.

Surprisingly, Meghalaya has less literacy than Delhi. BUT, women say they have better control on their lives despite the literacy rates. So we have an exception here of Meghalaya which is because it is still following its culture. But it is said that literacy rates have now improved a lot which is a good news 🙂

 

Other states of India which lack women participation can improve their education like Kerela did, and make their states better in women participation.

However, one also needs to understand that if you see these cultures in modern concepts, some of these matrilineal cultures are in fact biased towards men. Which backfires by having more anger in men towards women.

But, I personally think that Northeast and Kerela are really ignored in India because they don’t have “urban cities” like Delhi, Bangalore etc. But seriously, what have these cities achieved? Most people have a stressed life there and half of the life goes in dealing with traffic. Yes, women can “Dress” like they want, but does that mean they get equal treatment? Probably No.

So we can see that matriarchal and patriarchal cultures both have their flaws. But as far as empowerment is concerned, matriarchal cultures have an empowerment in jobs and overall life for both the genders which can be seen in the northeastern cultures…

 

So basically what we need is to learn from each other. Kerela and Northeast need to have at least one major urban city for having ample jobs because they lack it. They then don’t have to worry about who will get the jobs because, given the embedded women empowerment, both the genders are gonna get jobs, not just men. Kerela even has transgender empowerment.So even transgenders can have jobs.

The patriarchal society of rest of India, can learn from northeast and Kerela and adopt their means of women empowerment because they lack it. It will provide jobs for all and overall happiness, prosperity, better sex ratio, and solve many of their existing problems.

 

Image result for equality quotes

Source of the thumbnail

 

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Equality is powerful…

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Feminism – the word which scares everyone.

Feminism – the word which is used quite often by women and quite less by men.

Feminism – the word which has its meaning clear but not for most people who follow it.

Feminism was required in the past centuries in the west when women had no constitutional as well as social rights.

Feminism is required in the present centuries in many countries of Asia and Africa where women still don’t have constitutional and social rights.

But, the third wave feminism from the west, is affecting the women in the east.

West is the centre of all the media and it says what it sees – third wave feminism. And the east believes what it sees, which is – third wave feminism. Result: Intersexual anger in the west, more patriarchy in the east.

But how can we end this?

Is there no hope?

Guys, there is a solution.

And no, the sentences earlier weren’t “intros”. They were realities which one should not forget to read.

In fact, when I was doing a research on this topic I saw that many “feminist” websites had written thousands of articles on “importance of matriarchy”. I’m like, girls, feminism means equality, not matriarchy!!

Now, if the world hates patriarchy so much, does it mean that it wants “matriarchy” (at least the third wave feminists want matriarchy, don’t they?)

So, Let’s focus on the “unheard” and “unnoticed” tribes/cultures of the world which are predominantly matriarchal..

These are ethnic minorities of each country who are practising matriarchy in a patriarchal culture :

  1. Mosuo’s of China.
  2. Minangkabau’s of Indonesia.
  3. Akan’s of Ghana.
  4. Bribi’s of Costa Rica
  5. Garo’s of India.

Why do they have matriarchal culture?

  1. These cultures support education for all.
  2. Women stand for themselves.
  3. Women raise a voice against the injustice done to them.
  4. Men support women in their fight.

What changes does matriarchy do there which is different from patriarchy?

  • Due to matriarchy, these groups have :
  1. Fewer rapes
  2. Less molestation
  3. Caring people.
  4. A quite happy and safe environment.

All these things are really good. But is that enough for a country to be successful economically and socially? Do these groups have no problems? No.

These groups still have the same problems which patriarchal society have – poverty, corruption, etc.

Yes, we can solve rape problems by adopting matriarchy.But is that enough? Why don’t we hit two targets with one arrow? Is it even possible to control rapes AS WELL AS solve other problems too? Yes, it is.

The solution – NEUTRAL CULTURE

Is there a country which is truly feminist? Which maintains an equal culture?

Well yes, there are many countries doing that.

According to weforum, these are the countries which are the most gender neutral

 

Our main goal here is to discuss that HOW are we gonna make our countries gender equal. And here’s how these countries did it :

  1. By giving a good education to every citizen.
  2. By not focusing on religion.
  3. By embracing humanity.
  4. By stopping corruption and poverty.
  5. By embracing individualism when required and communal society when required thus making it difficult to have “stereotypes” about each other.
  6. By making their country strong enough to make humans live like humans.
  7. By giving justice to everyone.

 

If you guys have read about these countries, you will know that they have really good HDI and GDP. Which also makes them a developed country in a true sense.

And it’s not that these countries don’t have problems at all. But these countries have better healthcare and education which makes them less problematic than other countries. In these countries, there is a hope and positivity which our countries often lack.

So are you getting it? What these people did is that they :

  1. Brought a good government and the government did its work.
  2. Made their culture open to change and made sure everybody follows what is morally right and not just religiously right.

 

Basically, these countries made a cooperation of government and people and together solved their problems and brought EQUALITY and FEMINISM in its true sense.

We in our countries focus on complaining. We keep complaining. We never do anything to solve our problems. Which leads to people not SEEING change. So we only rely on media and we all know how much “correct” our media is. This brings anger in the west and more patriarchy in the east. Not saying that west is/was not patriarchal. But if we say that patriarchal means that men rule, then certainly men are ruling more in the east than the west.

All we need, is to stop complaining and start going in the right direction..

 


 

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