Love yourself vs Change yourself?

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This friend of mine is a socially awkward guy. He never feels like talking to a person in the first place, and when he does, he feels uneasy.

He doesn’t feel like participating in a group conversation just bc he thinks that people will judge him.

Guess what? he’s not the only. one.

The thing with these people is that some of them think that is a bad habit.


Now, on one hand, we have the good old “love yourself” theory which says that we should love ourselves just the way we are and shouldn’t try to be someone else or to be someone who isn’t the true “me”.

Then there’s the theory of “change yourself” which says that minor or major changes to your lifestyle will bring confidence and happiness. Like joining a gym to look fit so that you can get into the “socially accepted people” category and things will be easier for you.

But then if your friend comes to you for advice and asks you what should he/she do about a social anxiety, what will you say?
will you say that they should remain the way they are or should you say that they should change themselves?
in both methods, there is a chance of winning.
but which method is the best one?


According to adjustment psychology, our traits such as introversion, extraversion, etc remain STABLE over the years. They don’t change.

That’s because we ourselves choose environments which sustain the person we are.

If I am an introvert, I will always be attracted towards jobs which suit my taits like writing, painting, etc. (Guess what? Many introverts are said to have good skill set related to the jobs which are “introvert-friendly” like again, painting, writing etc.) 

Nature itself supports our traits and we also do it.

Which means that you actually cant completely change who you are. Does it cancel the option of “change yourself”? No.

You do need to change yourself because the environment is not stable. It’s us who adjust ourselves to it to make our life stable and less worrisome.


SO, you might consider changing some aspects of your lifestyle which aren’t healthy.

For example, can you tell me whats wrong in joining the gym? Nothing is.
You will be fit. That’s good for you. That will change your body, your mind, and your appearance but if you love yourself, you will be happy with the change cause its a good change!

SO, we can benefit at a 100% rate if we do both the things of loving yourself and changing yourself.

But the first thing you need to do is to know who you are. Are you an introvert? Are you socially awkward? what is it that you really are.

After that, accept the reality. Start to love the reality.

Love yourself so that you can be confident enough to make a decision to bring a change if the change is good for you.

Loving yourself will eventually lead you to change yourself.

“Joining the gym is good for me, for my body and for keeping diseases away. Yes, it will change the way I look, talk, etc but I think I will be able to cope with the change if I give myself some time”.


Hey, guys hope you liked the post. It’s just my opinion. If you have a different opinion, you can put it in the comment section below.

Wanna read more?

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Take a BREAK…

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Ever wondered how fast-paced life can be? Today you are running late for work.. you rush yourself, work your ass off, get your food, go back home, sleep and its another day of struggle again.

We all grow up so fast that we forget to think about ourselves and about the inner “me”

That’s why, it is sometimes important to take a break from your heavy schedule, take some rest and let your mind relax.

Go for a walk, sip some tea, watch some Netflix or just SLEEP.

Don’t let your brain get rot by all the pressure.. just relax and enjoy a day off from work or school.

 


Sometimes, taking a break is necessary.


 

put in some bath bombs and relax in the tub

 

Or maybe just spend some time with the kitty and lie on the bed

 

(image credit: click image)


But again, being the worrisome person that I am, I do have to tell you that please go to work if its important XD

If it’s not, and you can work later, or you have already done your work, please take a day off for yourself if you can.

And while you are doing this, Please focus on doing the right things like taking care of yourself and giving yourself some importance. Do whatever makes you feel good.


Ok, let’s take a leave now.

Goodbye.

Wait, wanna read some more?

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  3. Fandom : Its a trap

 

When in stress..

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There are many days where we just lose against stress. So next time when in stress, do these things…:

When in stress, remember that IT WILL PASS!!

Yes, there is some financial difficulty at the moment. But that happens to everyone! You have had your bad days and they have passed too. Then why won’t this pass? Yes, it will take time. But that doesn’t mean it won’t end. You will eventually find some work and will earn money.

 

When in stress, remember that BE FIT…

You’re having an exam. You need ENERGY! I know sometimes we are so stressed that we don’t even wanna eat or drink anything. But at least you can drink water right? Also, make a lemonade and put it in the water bottle you’re gonna carry. It gives you energy. Without energy, you’re gonna fail for sure.

 

When in stress, remember that, YOU HAVE TO LEARN FROM OTHERS…

There are diabetic people, handicapped people, heart patients, roaming around you. You don’t even know that the person sitting next to you in the metro has a kidney problem. That’s because they still come to work. They don’t let their suffering dampen their daily life. Even then, they still smile. Learn from others and complete your responsibility even when in stress.

 

When in stress, remember that DONT GIVE UP…

Today there was a meeting in my office. I had severe back pain but still, I gave the presentation anyhow. People could sense my pain but still, they kept quiet because I signaled them with my work that “I’m gonna finish what I worked for”.

Two nights, 14 cups of tea, so much electricity, so much paper, so much food, and so much brainwork has been put into this project by me. How can I give that up and let my pain win over my hard work?

 

When in stress remember that DONT STRESS..

Drowning? Don’t stress. Call for help, swim, start flapping your feet, rise up somehow. (ofc doesn’t apply to extreme drowning cases like in an ocean)

You had put in so many years in school and college. You have gained so much knowledge. Are you gonna let that stress make your brain freeze and let you not retrace the things you learned? NEVER. Don’t panic and don’t let stress win. Relax and think. We have all the solution to our problems. We just need to open the door to the presence of mind.

 

 

When in stress, remember that YOU HAVE TO START AGAIN..

Ok, you failed. Ok. What next? Gonna cry all day or gonna give the test again? Yes, definitely your friends will tease you for failing or might even leave you. But then you yourself will realize that they weren’t actually your friends. True friends help when needed.

So get up, wipe your tears, and start studying harder. Skip parties for some days and throw the biggest party ever when you will pass. Patience my boy, patience.

 

 


 

 

Equality is powerful…

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Feminism – the word which scares everyone.

Feminism – the word which is used quite often by women and quite less by men.

Feminism – the word which has its meaning clear but not for most people who follow it.

Feminism was required in the past centuries in the west when women had no constitutional as well as social rights.

Feminism is required in the present centuries in many countries of Asia and Africa where women still don’t have constitutional and social rights.

But, the third wave feminism from the west, is affecting the women in the east.

West is the centre of all the media and it says what it sees – third wave feminism. And the east believes what it sees, which is – third wave feminism. Result: Intersexual anger in the west, more patriarchy in the east.

But how can we end this?

Is there no hope?

Guys, there is a solution.

And no, the sentences earlier weren’t “intros”. They were realities which one should not forget to read.

In fact, when I was doing a research on this topic I saw that many “feminist” websites had written thousands of articles on “importance of matriarchy”. I’m like, girls, feminism means equality, not matriarchy!!

Now, if the world hates patriarchy so much, does it mean that it wants “matriarchy” (at least the third wave feminists want matriarchy, don’t they?)

So, Let’s focus on the “unheard” and “unnoticed” tribes/cultures of the world which are predominantly matriarchal..

These are ethnic minorities of each country who are practising matriarchy in a patriarchal culture :

  1. Mosuo’s of China.
  2. Minangkabau’s of Indonesia.
  3. Akan’s of Ghana.
  4. Bribi’s of Costa Rica
  5. Garo’s of India.

Why do they have matriarchal culture?

  1. These cultures support education for all.
  2. Women stand for themselves.
  3. Women raise a voice against the injustice done to them.
  4. Men support women in their fight.

What changes does matriarchy do there which is different from patriarchy?

  • Due to matriarchy, these groups have :
  1. Fewer rapes
  2. Less molestation
  3. Caring people.
  4. A quite happy and safe environment.

All these things are really good. But is that enough for a country to be successful economically and socially? Do these groups have no problems? No.

These groups still have the same problems which patriarchal society have – poverty, corruption, etc.

Yes, we can solve rape problems by adopting matriarchy.But is that enough? Why don’t we hit two targets with one arrow? Is it even possible to control rapes AS WELL AS solve other problems too? Yes, it is.

The solution – NEUTRAL CULTURE

Is there a country which is truly feminist? Which maintains an equal culture?

Well yes, there are many countries doing that.

According to weforum, these are the countries which are the most gender neutral

 

Our main goal here is to discuss that HOW are we gonna make our countries gender equal. And here’s how these countries did it :

  1. By giving a good education to every citizen.
  2. By not focusing on religion.
  3. By embracing humanity.
  4. By stopping corruption and poverty.
  5. By embracing individualism when required and communal society when required thus making it difficult to have “stereotypes” about each other.
  6. By making their country strong enough to make humans live like humans.
  7. By giving justice to everyone.

 

If you guys have read about these countries, you will know that they have really good HDI and GDP. Which also makes them a developed country in a true sense.

And it’s not that these countries don’t have problems at all. But these countries have better healthcare and education which makes them less problematic than other countries. In these countries, there is a hope and positivity which our countries often lack.

So are you getting it? What these people did is that they :

  1. Brought a good government and the government did its work.
  2. Made their culture open to change and made sure everybody follows what is morally right and not just religiously right.

 

Basically, these countries made a cooperation of government and people and together solved their problems and brought EQUALITY and FEMINISM in its true sense.

We in our countries focus on complaining. We keep complaining. We never do anything to solve our problems. Which leads to people not SEEING change. So we only rely on media and we all know how much “correct” our media is. This brings anger in the west and more patriarchy in the east. Not saying that west is/was not patriarchal. But if we say that patriarchal means that men rule, then certainly men are ruling more in the east than the west.

All we need, is to stop complaining and start going in the right direction..

 


 

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6 less chaotic places in India where you can just RELAX.

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India is known for being chaotic and in some places, it IS chaotic. But it also has a solution to its chaos – Places with so much nature and calmness that you will forget that you are in the 2nd most populated country in the world!

So here are some of the quietest and calmest places in India where you can EASILY practise yoga, meditation, or just RELAX and chill.

Note – The list is not a hierarchy.

 

1.Maharashtra : 

 

Shocked? Don’t worry, We aren’t talking about the cities. We are talking about the natural beauty and silence. Maharashtra might be infamous for having one of the noisiest places called Mumbai, It does have some insanely silent places at the same time. Apart from having huge forts, it does have some insanely nature-friendly places which give relief from the chaos in Mumbai.

 

2 Day Lonavala-Khandala Sightseeing Tour from Pune

Lonavla, a BEAUTIFUL hill station very close to Pune city. It is a beautiful paradise!

Pic credit 

 

View of Lavasa hills

Lavasa hills serve you beauty within the Lavasa city. Something like this is rarely found nowadays. The architecture you are seeing in the top left of the picture is the Lavasa main centre. Doesn’t it match with the natural beauty of the place?

 

Maharashtra tousrim : http://www.tourismguideindia.com/maharashtra.htm

 

 

2. Kerela :

 

Kerela is a pretty well-known place. It has greenery, tea plantations, rice paddies, and the famous – backwaters where you can just chill and think about your life. Kerela will ensure you have a chilled day with lots of coconut water and delightful food.

 

 

Kerela is also called “Gods own country”

 

A glimpse of nature in Kerela

 

Houseboats ready to take you to the backwaters

 

Kerela tourism website: https://www.makemytrip.com/travel-guide/kerala/

 

3. Meghalaya :

 

Meghalaya is the land of beautiful forests, greenery, waterfalls and so much peace that you would want to come back again and again. Its a paradise for photographers and nature lovers. It is a place so wonderful that your eyes will be delighted to be experiencing this side of nature and how nature NURTURES us.

 

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                Living root bridges, Nongriat village, Meghalaya.

 

 

 

Mawlynnong Village Meghalaya

Mawlynnong village is the cleanest village in Asia.

Pic credit 

 

 

Dawki River Meghalaya

Dawki river, a transparent river.

Pic credit 

 

Meghalaya tourism: https://www.yatra.com/india-tourism/meghalaya

 

 

4. Himachal Pradesh :

 

Himachal, a lovely state in the northern part of India, is known for its breathtaking nature, flower gardens and the beautiful people. Host to the Dalai Lama, Himachal Pradesh has a strong Tibetan presence. This is reflected in its Buddhist temples and monasteries, as well as its vibrant Tibetan New Year celebrations. The region is also well known for its trekking, climbing and skiing areas. You will LOVE this place!

 

dharamshala

     Dharamsala, best place for spirituality

Pic credit 

 

 

kasol

   Kasol, Hill station.

Pic credit 

 

 Tourism : https://www.yatra.com/india-tourism/himachal-pradesh

 

5. Goa : 

 

Many people think of Goa as a party place. But Goa is more than that. With its beautiful beaches and amazing relaxing options, you can get a party+peace atmoshpere only in Goa. Various non-toursity beaches like agonda beach are less party friendly and more peace friendly beaches. Goa steals your heart 😉

 

Ashwem

The most popular spot in Goa for one day picnics, this beach is also one of the favourites amongst the locals. Although a bit of rocky, it is counted as one amongst the least crowded beaches in Goa. Sandwiched between the Mandrem and Morjim beach, Ashwem has several beach-side resorts that offer seaside shacks to relax and rejuvenate.

 

 

Morjim

Lying to the north of the Chapora River, this beach is a beautiful manifestation of sandy shoreline and is amongst the least crowded beaches of Goa. A nesting habitat for the olive ridley turtle, Morjim beach possesses a unique ecosystem that favours the growth and hatching of this species of turtles.

 

 

 Agonda

Pristine and alluring, Agonda Beach is the place where someone can simply relax in the company of sun, sand and sea.

 

 

All credits for Goa post go to https://www.thrillophilia.com/least-crowded-beaches-of-goa 

(Visit the link for knowing what are the least crowded beaches in Goa)

Goa tourism: https://www.makemytrip.com/travel-guide/goa/places-to-visit.html

 

 

6. Andaman Nicobar islands :

 

Last but not the least, the island to the east coast of India, is one of the popular yet peaceful desitnations in India. Compared to goa, it is much less crowded and is more peaceful for beach lovers. You cant end your trip to india without going to this place!

 

pathi-level-beach

One of the sprawling white sand beaches in Andaman and close to the Alfred Caves… the Pathi Level Beach is a must visit place in Andaman for all travellers. Being an isolated beach, it is known for its abundant and unspoilt natural beauty and can be accessed by a dunghi from Kishorinagar via Ram Nagar beach.

 

 

ray-hill

 Ray Hill, Mayabunder, is one of the newly developed eco-tourism destinations in Andaman that houses eco guesthouses and one can indulge in several activities like elephant safaris, wilderness trail, rock climbing and angling. The Ray Hill thus allows you to explore the forest in detail, laying bare the beauty of nature and wilderness at its best

 

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laxmanpur-beach

One of the popular beaches in Andaman, the Laxmanpur Beach, which is close to the Bharatpur Beach… is the perfect getaway for your trip to Andaman, as you are left with sufficient time and space to be on your own and enjoy the privacy even during the peak tourist season.

 

 

Credit – https://www.tourmyindia.com/blog/best-places-to-visit-andaman-nicobar-islands/

Official tourism website – http://www.andamantourism.gov.in/

 

 

Note :

  1. There are more peaceful places in India too but these places mentioned above, give nature+nurture which is the best experience for someone looking for peace. We will try to add other places in the next edition if possible.
  2. People keep worrying about “safety” while travelling to India but No need to worry about “safety” cause the places mentioned above, are very very safe (even for women)
  3. These places are developed enough to provide good roads and connectivity to the cities so no fear of “getting lost” somewhere.
  4. The northern states are easily connected to Delhi and the southern are easily connected to cities like Chennai, Bangalore, and Hyderabad. Mumbai is mostly connected to all of them.
  5. You can see the vlogs or visits of each place on youtube to have a better idea about them.
  6. Our content is not 100% right but these places will surely provide more peace than any other places in India.
  7. Our list is based on connectivity to cities, natural beauty, atmosphere, etc.

 

 

Hope you enjoyed reading this post

Keep travelling, keep enjoying

Namaste 🙂


 

More about India :

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  2. 5 Unique ways of celebrating Diwali
  3. We picked top 10 kurtas under ₹600 for you!

 

Other topics :

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  2. How to understand women.
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  4. Animal rights: The right and the wrong.

 


 

 

 

 

 

 

How to tell whether a WhatsApp forward is fake or not (6 tricks)…

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Whatsapp is a widely used tool for messaging. It has its markets in India, South Africa, Brazil and other countries.

India accounts for the largest WhatsApp users.

While WhatsApp is very useful for promoting your businesses, spam and misleading news can be spread within minutes.

But with these techniques, you can identify a fake Whatapp forward.

 

 

  1. Use Truecaller :

  • Truecaller is an app which tells you the name of the cell phone user from his number.
  • Sometimes in WhatsApp, there are messages such as “Call this person if you see a stray animal”, “Call him to send money” etc.
  • Then a phone number is also displayed.
  • Copy that number and paste it into Truecaller and see the name.
  • If the person HIMSELF has sent the message and is truly genuine, he will ALWAYS mention his name and occupation/what he does, on Truecaller.
  • A fake person will rarely do this.
  • Like if I truly am an animal rescuer, I will mention that on my Truecaller profile because I know that I have forwarded a message related to it and anyone can contact me anytime because of that message.
  • Once you see the name, you can use Facebook to search it and see the Facebook profile to be double sure whether he’s a spammer or a person in real need.

 

So, basically what to do in this step?

  1. Search his profile on Truecaller and see the name.
  2. Search the name on facebook
  3. See the occupation if mentioned.
  4. If the occupation is not mentioned, see at least his pictures or friend list to get an idea whether hes a needy or a scammer.

 

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/

Truecaller – https://www.truecaller.com/

 

2. Check the news channels:

  • Only news channels show the real news and nobody else does.
  • If there was an eclipse coming tomorrow, the news tells it today itself.
  • So you don’t need to rely on WhatsApp for news about the environment.
  • Secondly, if there is news on politics, IGNORE it. 
  • NEVER EVER take a political WhatsApp message seriously. It’s all dirty politics to make the youth do wrong things.
  • Lastly, if the news is related to someone being kidnapped/is lost etc, then its probably fake too.
  • Think logically –  If your child is lost, would you complain to the police or tell WhatsApp? Will WhatsApp friends and random people help you find your kid? What if someone uses your contact number, tells you he has found your kid, and then kidnaps you if you go to him?
  • So let’s be real – People will mostly complain to a police officer and rely on them only. Moreover, they may also approach the news channels. But using WhatsApp to tell that their child is lost, is bad parenting as well as a possible scam.

 

Basically, think logically and rely only on news channels for news.

We know that sometimes news channel themselves can spread fake news too.

So, we suggest watching only TRUSTED CHANNELS like DD news, Zee news etc.

 

3. Check with the doctor :

 

  • A random person sends you a message telling about Aryuveda and you believe him?
  • Rather save the message and ask the real aryuvedic doctor.
  • Same with any kind of medical messages.
  • “Better be sure than be sorry”.

Thus, before using random fake medical knowledge, ask your doctor whether the information being forwarded to you is really true or not.

 

 

4. UNESCO tells its announcements on its website.

  • UNESCO has its own website and it posts everything on it.
  • So better check it before believing anything related to it.
  • Same goes for anything related to the United Nations.

United Nations website – www.un.org/en/

UNESCO – https://en.unesco.org

 

 

5. Website, website, website : 

  • Yes, again, ANY big organization will ALWAYS announce its notices on its WEBSITE.
  • So next time when you get a message saying anything about the govt policies, CHECK THEIR WEBSITE or just check the news channels.
  • Whatsapp itself will tell its updates on its website too. So no need to believe in random messages of “New Whatsapp feature” and similar news being forwarded to you.

 

 

6. Social media :

  • Every police establishment in this world uses a verified social media account and use it to tell any announcements.
  • For eg, the Mumbai police tell its announcements on its Twitter account and are active on twitter all day.
  • So you should not rely on messages about police, security or any threat. Just check their twitter/other social media or just ask them directly by a call or on the internet.

 

 

 

 

Recap :

 

 

 

Note :

  1. We don’t claim all these tricks to be 100% true.
  2. People are still there to run their masterminds and can still fool you.
  3. Now that India has internet users in huge numbers, we should know the dos and donts of the internet.
  4. The basic “DONT” is that don’t believe in rumours.
  5. With the above tricks, you can find a flaw in forwarded message easily.
  6. Yes it may take some effort but as we said, “Better be sure than sorry”

 

 

 

 

You can share this post by the way 😉

Let us know if there are other methods in the comment section below.

Sometimes readers also read the comments so your method in the comment can be seen too. It will help them more.

Thanks for reading.

Like, share and subscribe for more updates.


 

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Helping a family member cope up with mental disease.

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According to wikipedia, A mental disorder also called a mental illness or psychiatric disorder, is a behavioral or mental pattern that causes significant distress or impairment of personal functioning.Such features may be persistent, relapsing and remitting, or occur as a single episode. Many disorders have been described, with signs and symptoms that vary widely between specific disorders. Such disorders may be diagnosed by a mental health professional.

 

There are various ways in which you can help your family member deal with his illness. Here are the Dos and Dont’s :

Do’s

1. Turn his negatives into positives.    

(Will help in changing his perspective)

2. Ensure he is taking his medicines

3. Treat him as normal as others

(will help them not feel left out)

4. Take help of doctor if the patient has down syndrome, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, etc

( Cause these patients can behave violently)

5. Prepare his favorite food, play his favorite game with him, watch a movie with him and keep him happy 

( of course, with precautions considering the type of disease he has)

6. At the end of the day, talk to him about his day, how he is feeling and tell him that you love him and will support him in his journey of dealing with mental illness

(btw also seriously help him don’t say it for the sake of saying lol )

 

 

Dont’s

1. Yelling, teasing, dissing, shouting, beating, and being sarcastic

( his health is more important than your ego)

2. Behaving extremely different.

( change in your behavior towards him can lead to him doubting you all the time)

3. Keeping him in the house/ one room all the time

( going for a walk with him, making him feel free to unknown people and socializing, will help to make him feel safer. but you need to talk to the doctor about the precautions you keep in mind about his particular illness)

4.Keeping him away from his loved and trusted person.

( it can be his friend, his college or his cousin, don’t try to keep him away from them.He will mostly not harm them since he is receiving treatment and is in the recovery process. Being with his trusted people will help him feel happy and safe)

5. Always lecture about his problem

( suggesting things is good but only at that time when he is just a few steps behind being fully recovered. Until then, follow the doctor’s recommendation.)

6 Suggest illogical solutions

( it will not help)

Lastly, he needs your love and support.

He is going through a rough phase. You will never know how he is feeling. Mental diseases and physical diseases have a lot of differences. Never abandon or leave a family member JUST BECAUSE he has a mental disease.

HE DID NOT CHOOSE THIS.

we are not doctors but these techniques are very logical and are written on basis of various psychological theories. To be fully sure of what you should be doing, contact the doctor.

All the best