I was 15 years old when I first got into this fandom thing. I was looking for some good songs and I had typed “best songs ever” to which a video popped up and my life took a huge turn.
Correct. It was ONE DIRECTION!! Earlier I just knew it was a boy band and I used to make fun of girls following celebs for no reason. But then I clicked that song and MY GOD! it made me so happy I just couldn’t stop my tears.
I was also going through a rough phase in my life. I never used to talk to anyone or had any friends. But that one video led me seeing more One Direction music videos and then it went towards their interviews where I got first-hand information about their behavior and their personality.
I still remember falling in love with Louis Tomlinson because he was so outgoing and chilled person and was so CAREFREE!! I kept on watching them for months and months. This also affected my performance in the semester exams because I just couldn’t stop dreaming about them and watching their videos.
Now that I study psychology, I understand what had happened to me. Its called “mirroring”. Mirroring happens when we start to enact some actions of a person by observing him. This also leads to we get some of their personality traits. And honestly, THIS WAS HEAVEN FOR ME. because I started being carefree like Louis. I started talking like him, and I made a shit load of friends. Then I got confidence and this actually led me to get good marks in the next semester since I was able to ask more doubts and learn more easily.
I just couldn’t stop thinking about them and eventually, I fell into that LARRY thing (Larry is a term for Louis+Harry. Apparently we directions somehow thought that both liked each other and we made this term). I really loved LARRY and used to enjoy watching fan-frictions too.
But, then I saw Larry being separated. I mean, they never used to talk like earlier and always avoided each other. Which broke my heart. Icing to the cake was when ZAYN LEFT THE BAND. I still remember crying the whole day. I didn’t eat anything. I was so upset that I felt like someone has stolen a part of my life and I can’t get it back. This is when my directioner friends and I started to watch less of their videos and focusing on our own lives. This led to the one direction fever being faded. I lost interest in them…
I developed a hate for Zayn for leaving the band. But I did listen to his songs and honestly, his singles were way better than singles of other members. Niall had said that One Direction will return. But it has been 3 years and the band has almost lost all its followers…
During this Zayn period, I had enrolled myself in the science field where I learned how to THINK RATIONALLY and develop a scientific attitude. I was still my new confident self. But even that started fading because I no more had my guru Louis with me. Even If I watch his old videos, I start crying. So I didn’t even watch his earlier videos.
Basically, I HAD FALLEN IN LOVE. I felt that someone is there for me. Someone cares about women and their feelings. One Direction and their song lyrics made sure I was in love.
But the major heartbreak was like a breakup. The scars of which I can still recall.
After 2 years. Someone again came in my life…
I was watching superwoman video reactions and I found myself falling in love with this Korean band BTS. I WAS IN LOVE AGAIN!!
But..but this time too SAME THINGS HAPPENED. First seeing music videos, then interviews, then again following a stupid fan-made gay term JiKook (Junkook+Jimin). But personality wise, it didn’t change me that much because I actually am not familiar with Korean culture. I’m more familiar with the British culture. But BTS fandom for me was like a weed. Smoke it, feel good for some time then back to your life.
My education in science led me getting information about HOW TO REALLY CHANGE YOUR LIFE. This is when I realized FANDOM IS BULLSH*T.
I mean, they aren’t even going to meet me or remember me. They don’t even know me. And EVERY BAND HAS ITS LAST TIME. What if BTS breaks up like ONE DIRECTION? another scar for me! My heart will break into pieces again.
Thus, girls, please remember that you should not take a fandom seriously. IT CAN CHANGE YOU. But, the reality is, those boys are TOLD to show themselves as good as they can. They are kept in control by the authorities.
If they weren’t controlled, then my Larry wouldn’t have been told to not talk to each other. If they weren’t, then each one direction member would have written songs about girls and their feelings even after leaving one direction. And If they weren’t, then why do they seem different now and different then?
The truth is,
THOSE BOYS WILL AGE.
A BAND WILL EVENTUALLY HAVE TO BREAK NO MATTER WHAT.
THEY WILL CHANGE WITH THEIR AGE AND FAME.
MONEY WILL LURE AT-LEAST ONE OF THEM TO MOVE OUT OF THE BAND..
and all this is just….normal (sadly)
A boy band shouldn’t control your life. Only you have the control on your mind. It is easy and kind of healthy to be excited and fall in love with the boy band. But later on, the same thing will ditch you and you can’t do anything about it. Sure it can change some aspects of your personality and make you feel good. But again, it will fade away and matter no more once you get older.
So I think a fandom is healthy as long as you don’t love it so much that you just start copying them without thinking and you are able to control yourself.
Everything has its good and bad sides.
Seeing their pictures, buying their stuff, their albums etc are a good thing. Even I do it. But getting carried away by that boy-band is risky.
As Aristotle says, “A happy person will show a personality appropriately balanced between reasons and desires, with moderation characterizing all. In this sense, at least, “virtue is its own reward.” True happiness can, therefore, be attained only through the cultivation of the virtues that make a human life complete”
If you really wanna change your life, you should not rely on somebody else. Here are some tips.
And by the way, if you join a fandom and fall in love with a boy’s personality, you have a hint about WHAT YOU REALLY WANT. Like I realized I wanted to be like Louis. But my method of copying him to become like him was kind of wrong.
Thanks for reading this and I hope I could make every teen girl realize a big message.
Sorry if I’ve hurt someone but the truth is the truth. I don’t want you, young girls, to repeat the same mistakes which I did.